MIKE JONES!
Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Toledo is burning. Boom goes the dynamite.
Say any of those phrases around the guys here in 3 South, and I guarantee that they will cock their head, lick their lips, and get a funny little glint in their eyes. Because those little pearls are just a few of the proverbs that come from the mouth of Founders Hall's own little Confucious. They are the first of the many Maxims of Mike, the divinely-inspired words of my roommate.
To make vivid the true nature of Mike in mere words and photographs is no mean feat. The Mike that I am privilaged to know and see every day is an intricate web of a man. His glory defies any preconceived notions that one may hold about the nature of a UD freshman.
Scoff if you will, but I beseech you, find a greater roommate. Scour the earth, from UD to the University of Beijing, your search will prove fruitless. Mike is superior to all other roommates. His exploits are numerous and momentous, truly the stuff of legends, and there is not space enough on the Internet to list them. The escapades I list here do not do justice to this most Achillean of men, but, alas, the only man truly skilled enough in the fine art of rhetoric and prose to do justice is Mike is Mike, and he is far too noble and gracious to extoll his own virtues. So the task falls to me, and I shall complete it as best I can.
Firstly, a rule that has stood since the beginning of the year- between the hours of 9 AM to 4 PM, if you are not in class, at least one of us must be sleeping in our room. This is vital. It is also non-negotiable.
Mike always has a story. For any situation. Every single night, Mike has an interesting and engaging tale to weave about his evening. Nobody lives a more interesting life than him.
I thought I had ecelectic musical tastes. Mike surpasses me. I don't know anybody who listens to hip-hop, country, and O-Town, all in about a 10 minute span.
Also, according to K-R-I-S-T-I-N, Mike is basically the hottest guy ever, and he has really sexy eyes. She talks about it all the time, and I think that it really helps Mike's self-esteem. Not that it needed helping.
Again, it is not within my power to adequately describe Mike, to truly understand him, you must meet him in person. But take my word for it, he's a fine man, and anybody would be damn lucky to have him as a roommate.
Oct 19, 2005 9:44 PM
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